Rediscovering our trust in each other: What we can learn from Atticus Finch
We are in the middle of an inflection point in our country’s history with President Trump’s upcoming impeachment. In this moment, the actions taken by our leaders will define their legacies for posterity. Similarly, the personal legacies of those who lived through the era will be defined by how they treated the people in their communities, just as it was during the Civil Rights era. Even as societal fabric has rapidly eroded over the past three years, the rebuilding of that social cohesion will be the work of a generation.
The great wisdom I received in high school from the Marianists who taught me was this: “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will kill me.” In the Trump era, this has proven to be true too often, and at too high a body count. Charlottesville, El Paso, Chicago Enquirer, Pittsburgh Synagogue, and Christchurch are all attacks born out of the words heard by disaffected and unwell young white men. Words have done much more than inspire shooters however. The words of our president have managed to create two separate fact cycles. They have managed to leave the Kurds stranded. They have caused a distrust of all major societal institutions by significant portions of the country. Most distressingly, they have left us alienated and opposed to family members, neighbors, and local communities in a way that is much more visceral than the usual politics.
To rebuild the bonds of community across the nation is to do the hard work of truly making America great again. In this project, the lode star we should follow was stated by Atticus Finch. We must put ourselves in the shoes of those who are not us. This means the MAGA train die hard, the immigrant in a detention center, the farmer in flyover country, or the hardcore social justice warrior. These people have more in common than not, even if what we see every day on the news, think pieces, or social media might indicate otherwise.
Putting yourself in the place of others isn’t new wisdom, it’s a variation of the Golden Rule. It’s been with us for thousands of years. And yet, more than ever, the wisdom of this rule is necessary. In an age where big conversations happen on smaller and smaller screens, it can be difficult to practice with those you engage with online. When someone is not directly in front of you, it’s easy to dismiss the words of a stranger. However, The work of men such as Jonathan Haidt has shown that when you actually practice putting yourself in the shoes of others, you gain a more holistic look at things such as ethics and politics, while also gaining greater empathy for those outside your political and moral bubble.
Walking a mile in someone else’s shoes is the goal of many a story, film, or movie. It’s why we can identify with fictional characters and be moved by a song. Putting these empathetic activities into practice during everyday situations, however, is a skill that must be cultivated. Like playing the piano or learning to ride a bike, the muscle memory of empathy and active listening is something that comes with repetition. When it comes to building bridges across the modern partisan divides, The single most important thing we can do is to listen to the people that are in our lives. Practicing active listening, understanding the context of the lives of our coworkers and friends, and treating them with respect and dignity they deserve regardless of opinion is something that must be an active choice by each and every one of us.
Cultivating the skill of putting yourself in the place is the first step to rebuilding trust. With trust, we can have the courage to place ourselves outside of our political and social comfort zones, and reconnect with those we’ve lost touch with. We can discover new dimensions of our country and our cities. And once we have done that, we have the ability to once again engage with political opponents and institutions in good faith once more. Even more importantly, we can forgive each other for the hurt caused by others in the past. We can heal the psychic wounds of the era, and move on as a more whole people.
We’ve come back from more damaging eras than the Trump Presidency before. We’ve rediscovered our commonalities as Americans and as a people, and the greatest healing happens at the local level. As important as the national conversation is, real, lasting change happens on the personal level. Think about your family, your neighbors, your social circle, your place of worship, and people you’ve known as you’ve grown up. These are the people we each can reach out to to repair frayed relationships. By extending grace, humility, and an open mind and heart to the people who matter in your life, you give them the dignity and respect we all deserve, regardless of beliefs. Once people feel heard and respected, they are open to reciprocation of that same inherent trust in person.
This is hard work, but it is the hard work that is worthy of doing, by each and every one of us. If we each spent just one conversation a week truly being open to listening to the neighbor or family member we disagree with, we will be doing future generations an enormous service. Our nation was founded on the notion that all people were created with an inherent, equal dignity. When we recognize that, and put ourselves in another’s shoes, we live up to our ideals as a nation.
Christian Thrailkill is a graduate of Southern Methodist University, musician, and columnist. He lives in Dallas, Texas.
